Reviewing - Festive Flicks
Christmas With The Kranks (**)
In which Frosty the Snowman attempts murder
For Christmas 2019, this was the first holiday movie of the season for my wife and I. You don’t want to break out the big guns right away – the most important movies are best reserved closer to December 25th. With that in mind, this movie is certainly not one of ‘the big guns’. It’s a fairly run-of-the-mill couple comedy that you’d probably find playing on TV on a Wednesday afternoon. There’s definitely some weird decisions that the filmmakers made, as well as some jokes that fall flat. But in spite of that, there’s a good old-fashioned charm to the simplicity of the plot, and the lead characters are delightfully performed. It’s not a great Christmas movie, but it’s definitely competent enough to make you crack a smile at least once.
If Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis weren’t in this movie, there’s little doubt in my mind that this film would suck. The plot is as predictable as a Hallmark film – a couple of empty-nesters decide to ‘skip Christmas’ in order to go on a cruise, only to have their daughter suddenly announce on Christmas Eve that she’s coming home in several hours with a brand-new fiancé. Jokes in a story like this write themselves, but there are a few odd surprises - a blinking cat frozen in ice stands out as particularly outlandish. What saves this film and sets it apart from the Hallmark competition it faces is its stars. Tim Allen is playing himself as usual, but he does it so well that it’s hard not to love him for it. Jamie Lee Curtis sets up a hilarious dynamic between the two of them – he’s the snarky and petty suburbian husband who takes himself too seriously, and she’s the stubborn emotion-driven heart of the couple. Together they are a riot. Couples in the audience will instantly recognize and laugh at the pinprick-frustrations of married life, as well as the ebb and flow of Allen and Curtis’ synergy. There are moments where they’re totally on the same page, and then there are times where one of them goes off the deep end while the other stands flabbergasted. It’s a lot of fun, even if the movie isn’t perfect.
Really, my only true qualm with this film has to do with their depiction of Santa Claus. Who is this guy? Why does he drive a punchbuggy? Why does he sell umbrellas? I think they may have been trying to infuse this holiday comedy with a pinch of magic, but it comes across as more weird than wonderful.
If you like Tim Allen and Christmas, don’t miss this movie. Otherwise, this is a thoroughly skippable film.
Elf (***1/2)
In which we learn that "- 8" does not happen
You'd have to be a cotton-headed ninny muggins to not enjoy something about this film.
I love how the North Pole is styled after the world of the 1964 TV special "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer". Although the design of Santa's Workshop in that special felt cold and lifeless to me, here it feels cheeky and fun specifically because of its self-referentiality. The stop-motion characters are another nice nod to that era of Christmas storytelling.
This film rests entirely on the tall shoulders of Will Ferrell - without his performance, there isn't much left to go on. His role here has become an iconic staple of the Christmas season, and he's become a sort of anti-Scrooge. Whereas people who don't love the holidays are compared to the elderly Ebenezer, people with an over-exuberance for the spirit of the season are now equated to Buddy the Elf. His extreme passion for the season is emblematic of the way many people today feel about Christmastime.
I have to make a confession. Although I do really like this movie, my wife and I have noticed that we've been laughing a lot less at Ferrell's antics these past two Christmases. I'm not sure if I can exactly put my finger on it, but there's something about him that seems to be wearing off on us. Even so, I can't deny that I have laughed very hard many times watching this film, and it's all thanks to the exuberance and over-the-top nature of Ferrell's performance. His "SANTAAAAA" scream has become the rallying cry of Christmas lovers everywhere.
At the end of the day, what sets this film apart from lesser holiday movies is that it is both incredibly funny AND incredibly heartwarming. The movie is packed with moments that make you laugh, but it ends on a decidedly sweet note as children and people all over New York decide to believe in Christmas once again. The paradigm shift in Buddy's father is at the heart of this film. When Dad realizes what Christmas is all about, the movie can finally come to a close.
Miracle on 34th Street (****)
In which a court finds an old guy that looks like Santa and decides to formally declare that he is THE Santa
I'd never seen this film before yesterday, but I already know that Richard Attenborough is my Santa Claus.
I can't yet speak as to whether this movie is better or worse than the original, as I haven't seen the original in its entirety yet. What I can say is that Attenborough does a fantastic job of being the jolly old Saint Nick. When he says he's Santa Claus, you believe him. Sure, he looks the part, but more than that, he has that cinnamon-sweet charm in his smile and a twinkle in his eyes that makes you believe him. He does a stupendous job.
I haven't seen 'Matilda' either (and I know that's a crime - please don't kill me), but I've heard that the leading little lady of this film has a special place in many people's hearts for that other movie. I think she did a great job here, playing a business-official little girl who slowly discovers that she wants to believe too. Her growing relationship with Father Christmas is very fun to watch, as is her mother's relationship with the old man. Santa's attorney - whatever his name is - is a bit too clean-cut to be believable, but I guess we need him for the plot. It's just never made clear why he believes in Santa Claus to the point where he's willing to stake his entire professional reputation on it.
While the courtroom scenes towards the end of the film are a lot of fun, there's a certain amount of wool you need to be able to pull over your eyes. I'm not entirely sure what Santa was being charged with - the charges for his assault were evidently dropped, so the only other thing to discuss would be his insanity - but is that really a courtroom affair? I'm not sure. The point is, he's on trial for being Santa Claus, and we just have to accept that and enjoy the ride.
That said, there was one line that I didn't love. Not long before the judge was going to make his final decision, our fearless lawyer guy utters the following line.
"If this court finds that Mr. Kringle is not who he says he is, that there is no Santa Clause, then I would ask the court to judge which is worse - A lie that draws a smile, or a truth...that draws a tear?"
He's basically saying that sometimes a lie is better than the truth. I fundamentally disagree with that. The mom in this film has said how the truth is one of the most important things in the world - and in the world of this film, there really is a Santa Claus and Kris Kringle is that guy. Why would you make the argument that your lie is more valuable than the truth? A truth that draws a tear is certainly better than a lie that draws a smile, for that smile will crumble the moment the lie does.
So yeah, I disagreed with that bit, but on the whole, I thought this was very sweet and very thought-provoking. My favourite line was one uttered by the big man himself: "If you can't believe, if you can't accept anything on faith, then you're doomed for a life dominated by doubt." I think that's a much better rallying cry than "lies aren't so bad".
Noelle (***)
In which Santa hates kids
What’s interesting about this movie is how – to a certain extent - it demystifies Santa while maintaining the magic of Christmas. You’ll see ‘Santa’ leading a yoga class over here, and over there you’ll see ‘Santa’ using sign language to ask a little deaf girl what she’d like for Christmas. It’s a cup of sweet and a spoonful of irreverence, but on the whole I think it works out.
From the beginning of the movie, it was clear to me that Noelle had far more qualifications to be Santa Claus than her brother Nick. That said, I wondered what direction they were going to take this, because at the end of the day, Santa isn’t a woman. Up until watching this film, I didn’t think there was anything particularly sexist about such a statement. I think back to “Monsters University” where Mike Wazowski has to come to terms with the fact that even though he studies hard and knows his scaring techniques far better than Sully does, he’s just not scary – and that’s actually okay. One of the points of that film is that even though you can’t be anything you want to be, you can still do great things – perhaps even greater things than you first thought. Going back to Noelle, I wondered what role Noelle would find that would fulfill her in the same way that Mike Wazowski found fulfillment. By the end of the film, it turned out that the role of Santa Claus was the only role that would do this. I didn’t mind this at all given the context of the movie. I think they did a great job getting us to like Noelle as a character and to believe in her as the heir to the polar throne. Further, I think the ‘magic’ that gradually made itself evident within her was really fun and heartwarming.
I guess my only gripe is that for me, Santa Claus isn’t a woman. I admit whole-heartedly that this is purely a personal preference, no doubt born from nostalgia, tradition, and my ever-blossoming love for the same-old-thing. At the same time, who Santa is to me may be very different from who Santa is to someone else. Santa comes in January in some parts of Europe, and he doesn’t always come down chimneys for some people. It’s the same with Spider-Man: Tobey Maguire is my Spider-Man, but Miles Morales may be a perfectly suitable Spider-Man for someone else. Legendary figures don’t need to be exactly how I picture them. Does this mean I’ll take my kids one day to get a picture with a female Santa? Probably not – but if someone else wants to do that, I can’t think of a reason to discourage them from doing so.
Taking a step back from the political side of this film, I thought Anna Kendrick did a terrific job giving us a spunky and heartfelt character. I also loved the Christmas jokes peppered throughout the film – Scrooges will find themselves rolling their eyes constantly at the sheer volume of holiday puns and lyrical references.
This was the first Disney+ film I ever watched, and this is exactly the level of quality I would have expected. It’s nothing ground-breaking, but it’s fun, exciting, and family friendly. Give it a shot!
Jack Frost (**)
In which the audience tries very hard to not have nightmares about a possessed snowman
On paper, I think a story like this could work. But on film, this just couldn’t find its footing.
I think Michael Keaton’s great in this. He’s not the problem. He’s charismatic, kind, and earnest. He’s supposed to be the ‘cool dad’, and I think he does that excellently. The Mom and the kid are also really charming. No trouble there. This film’s biggest problem is the snowman. Chalk it up to the budget of the film or the special effects available at the time – Jack Frost just looks off. He’s not straight-up creepy necessarily, but he also does not look cute or huggable even once. His design just falls through for me – and given that he’s the most pivotal visual of the entire picture, this is a critical mistake.
Now that said, my wife has a special nostalgic attachment to this film. I acknowledge and respect that. I definitely think that this film has good bones, even if it is a little cheesy at times. But for people watching this for the first time, I think watching Keaton’s snowman puppet animatronic thing is just gonna be a bit too unsettling. Sorry, but skip this.
Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey (***)
In which Forest Whitaker is presented as the ultimate romantic fantasy
It’s “The Greatest Showman” at Christmastime. With robots.
One look at the list of movies I’ve reviewed will tell you that I’ve seen my fair share of cheesy films. Does that make me a cheese connoisseur? I can’t really say. But what I can say is that there’s a difference between good cheese and bad cheese. Jingle Jangle is right on that line, and it gets dangerously close to bad cheese at multiple points throughout the movie.
But man, it’s just too fun to hate. All the performers seem like they’re having a genuinely good time, and that bleeds through the camera into your living room. Sure, the plot’s paper thin. Sure, the theme is almost Hallmarkian in nature. But the songs are lively and entertaining enough to keep you hooked, and the visuals are just absolutely stellar. It’s like the whole movie was shot inside that Christmas village your grandmother sets up in her front hall every year. The costumes are fantastical and the sets are a mix of A Christmas Carol and Willy Wonka. It’s just plain fun.
If you’re the kind of person who is lactose intolerant, the amount of cheese in this film might make you throw up in your mouth a little bit. But for the rest of you, this is a delightful and Christmas-full picture that’s definitely worth its runtime.