The House The Grinch Skipped
Scene One
Narrator enters, carrying a book. She takes a seat in a big recliner next to a fireplace, opens the book, and begins to read.
Narrator: A long time ago,
in a land far away Where the Trinkle-Key-Busters
and Peep-a-dogs play, Our story begins in a little Who town Where something amazing
was ‘bout to go down.
Now, you’ve all likely heard
of the Whoville-town Grinch Who found stealing Christmas would not be a cinch.
He took every present and robbed every house Leavings crumbs that were too small for even a mouse.
But what most do not know is that’s not the whole script.
In fact, there was one house the Grinchy-Claus skipped.
Grinch: SKIPPED?!
The Grinch pokes his head out from backstage.
Narrator: Hey, you’re not on yet.
Grinch: I didn’t skip a house! This is libel! Defamation of character!
Narrator: Get backstage.
Grinch: (whipping out a copy of “How The Grinch Stole Christmas”) Is it in the book?! Is it?! Gimme the page! Let’s see your citations!
Narrator: It’s in my book. Now get off before somebody sees you.
Grinch: (storming off) This is ludicrous. Taking creative liberties with a masterpiece.
Narrator: (sighs before returning to the book)
Yes, the Grinch skipped a house. The last one on the street. But who could’ve stopped him? Well, let’s see who we meet.
Grinch: (pokes his head out again) And stop speaking in rhyme!
Narrator: Do you want me to come over there?!
The Grinch exits. The lights come up to reveal Mr. and Mrs. McWho, and their three children: Kevin, Kylie, and Caleb. They are all sitting around a dinner table finishing up their dinner. As the Narrator talks, they silently mime out talking to each other.
Narrator: This is Mr. McWho, with his kids and the Mrs.
They showered their children with hugs-es and kisses.
(The children wave to the audience as they are named)
Here’s Caleb, the youngest, and Kylie between Then Kevin, the loudest. You’ll see what I mean.
Kevin: (bursting to his feet in response to something Caleb said. Caleb smiles devilishly.) MOM! That’s not fair!
Mom: (rubbing her temples) Kevin, inside voice, please.
Kevin: I don’t wanna sit in the back seat!
Mom: Kevin, Caleb already asked if he and Kylie could sit in the middle of the car while we were on the trip, and I said yes.
Kevin: It’s a five hour drive! I don’t wanna sit in the back!
Kylie: But you’ll have all the leg room.
Kevin: So trade with me.
Kylie: Uhh...can I go to the bathroom?
Dad: Yes, Kylie. (Kylie runs off and exits)
Mom: I know it’s a long drive, Kevin, but Anville is a wonderful little town. There’s a lot to do there, especially at Christmastime.
Kevin: (To Caleb) Trade places with me.
Caleb: (mocking Kevin) Trade places with me!
Kevin and Caleb bicker silently while the Narrator speaks.
Narrator: Young Kevin was oldest of all McWho kids, But he would throw tantrums like no one else did. He’d cry and he’d scream and he’d shout through his home,
Kevin: (suddenly out loud) When I grow and get married, I’m living alone!
Narrator: (plugging her ears) Yikes.
Mom: Kevin, don’t talk like that. You don’t really want to live alone, do you?
Kevin: (pointing aggressively at Caleb) It’d be better than living with this! (Caleb has stuck utensils in his mouth to look like a walrus)
Caleb: (utensils still in his mouth, putting on a silly voice) Hi, I’m Kevin! Can I trade places with you? I like fish!
Kevin: UGH! (he storms away from the table back to his bedroom)
Dad: (starting to stand up) Kevin, get back here right now.
Mom: (places hand on Dad’s shoulder) It’s alright, I’ve got it.
Mom leaves to follow Kevin. There is a brief moment of silence. Caleb and Dad look at each other. Caleb still has the utensils in his mouth. He takes them out slowly.
Dad: (unimpressed) You done?
Caleb: My gums hurt a little bit.
Caleb and Dad leave as the scene changes to show Kevin’s bedroom. He is sitting on his bed, petting his cat. Mom has come up to the doorway.
Narrator: The McWhos were a family of kindness and peace But Kevin between them liked fam’ly the least. His sister and brother were always the worst, Or at least...this was how Kevin figured at first.
Kev sat in his bedroom, just petting his cat And upstairs came Mrs. McWho for a chat.
Mom: Kevin? Can I come in?
Kevin: Fine.
Mom: (sitting down on the bed with Kevin) Kevin, you cannot leave the table without being excused.
Kevin: What about Caleb?! He was making fun of me!
Mom: We are talking about you right now, young man.
Kevin: I hate this family.
Mom: I hope you don’t mean that.
Kevin: Hmph.
Mom: You wouldn’t want to end up like the Grinch, would you?
Narrator: All of Whoville had known of the Grinch for some time. He hated all Whos without reason or rhyme. Up on the mountain he lived by himself. I guess talking to others was bad for his health.
Kevin: The Grinch?
Mom: You said downstairs you wanted to live all alone. There’s nobody I know more alone than the Grinch.
Kevin: At least he doesn’t have anybody bothering him.
Mom: Sweetie, being part of a family means sometimes you won’t get along with everyone. And sometimes you need a break. I get that. But Christmas is a time when no one should be alone.
Kevin: Well, I want to be alone! I wish I lived all by myself, away from all of you!
Mom: Kevin McWho! Do not use that tone of voice with me.
Kevin: UGH!
Kevin buries his face in his pillow. At that moment, an old grandfather clock sound effect plays.
Mom: (looking up in response to the clock sound) Wow, look at the time. It’s late. (Standing up and heading to the door) Well, when you’re ready to act like a Who, I’d love to see it. But you had better be packed and ready to go by morning. We’re leaving at 8:00 sharp.
Kevin: (into his pillow) Mmf fmm fmm.
Mom: Sorry?
Kevin: (coming up from the pillow) Whatever.
Mom shakes her head.
Mom: Be careful what you wish for, Kevin. You may not always like it, but family is one of the greatest gifts God has given us.
Mom exits and Kevin contemplates in bed.
Narrator: So Mrs. McWho headed off to her room.
Their trip out of town would begin very soon. The morning would be quite a frantic affair, With passports and suitcases packed up with care.
As Kevin crawled under his covers that night, He wished that his family would ‘poof’ out of sight. It was Christmastime, sure, but all Kevin could think Was how great it’d be if they’d leave in a blink.
The lights fade and the scene switches back to the living room.
Narrator: But had Kevin known just what was next in our tale, He might not have hoped such a wish would prevail. The McWhos at last sleeping, the evening was done. There’s nothing to do now but wait for the sun.
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