Mission Report: Earth By Oogluk Hoffsnips
Humans are a highly inefficient lot when you get right down to it. From their first tentative centuries, they always had this absorbing preoccupation with one of the oddest hobbies I have ever seen. Some would collect things, which I can understand because it helps one gain a better understanding of the world around them. Some would embark on extraordinary quests, which, although I find most of them rather pointless and inconsequential, are at least somewhat useful in that through them the humans discover more about the world around them. But one hobby that nearly every human I have encountered takes part in is the telling and listening to of odd things they call stories.
Now were these 'stories' historical representations of the past, I would be able to put up with them. As the humans say, "those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it." A very small quantity of their 'stories' are in fact historical truths, yet for all the times these truths are told and retold to the humans, wars continue to break out amongst themselves. Though they claim to be hearing what the truths have to offer, they most certainly are not listening. Regardless, most of their stories are non-factual. Certain humans just fabricate lies - highly complex lies - and then tell them to other humans. Not only do the listeners know that the story is not true, but they grow fond of the characters within the fabricated truth. They talk amongst themselves about what the characters should and should not do. Sometimes they even go to the point of arguing. Somehow they find this perfectly reasonable, whereas anyone I have told on my planet has found it quite laughable.
It is sad to say that this hobby of producing and listening to fabricated truths is rampant in all human cultures I have studied. Billions of standard human currency marks are spent annually on producing elaborate stories for the apparent entertainment of the masses. They make stories in written form on paper. They act out stories on stage. They draw frames and frames of illustrations and then flip them very fast to make moving pictures that tell a story. I can honestly say that if they spent half as much time focusing on feeding their hungry as they did producing this smorgasbord of false information, they would probably be able to make the argument that they can contribute to our galaxy. However, the sad truth of it is that they simply don't.
I suppose it would be one thing if they were ruled by some dictator who desired to keep them in check by distracting them with these tales. Most remarkably, I have found that not only is this not the case, but even those who make up the stories seem to be quite content with listening to the lies of others. It is as though a wave of ignorance has settled itself over every member of this peculiar race. It seems odd to think that those who make up the stories (and know they are doing it, too) are so easily sucked in to the story of someone else. It simply baffles me. The only conclusion I have been able to come to in all my years of research is that despite knowing that the stories are fabricated, unrealistic, and for the most part unhelpful, they hold on to them simply because they enjoy them.
During my studies, one human posed the idea to me that stories were essential to the human 'soul' (an archaic version of what we now know to be our Eternal Self) because they give humans something to relate to, and they have morals. The fact that humans can relate to these fictional fantasies makes me laugh, but the idea that humans would develop their moral structures based on these stories genuinely worried me. Firstly, these are nothing more than fancy lies. That doesn't seem the best framework for constructing a moral foundation. With that in mind, most human stories are not written by their doctors or philosophers or lawyers. They are written by relatively simple humans who have not devoted their lives to developing a moral code that should fit mankind. And yet, these relatively uneducated humans continue to create stories with morals and messages, and the human masses devour the stories and claim to learn from them. For Andro's sake, if they want to gain a better view of how their world should be, then they should read stories made by only the wisest and most educated of their kind! I suppose that wouldn't work, however. Those of them who are truly wise would refrain from creating false stories in the first place.
And so mankind sits potentially on the brink of true sentience, yet they laze about and listen to stories. It does make me sad, I shall confess. I do hope that one day, perhaps in a thousand years or so, the humans will outgrow this unnecessary tendency and move on to more enlightening habits.
----------
If you don't care what this dumb alien has to say and you DO want to hear a story, click here.